Things to do when twitter fails
As we all know twitter has been up and down more times than a strippers panties in the last 24 hours, so what should you be doing instead.
When I was younger, a long long time ago, the BBC would always show a children's television programme in the school holidays called "Why Don't You Just Switch Off Your Television Set And Go Out And Do Something Less Boring Instead?" and it got me thinking of things I could be doing instead of waiting for tweets to arrive.
(I'm suprised to find out that the show ran for 42 series between 20 August 1973 and 21 April 1995 and that Russel T Davies of Doctor Who fame was a one time producer/director)
- Lie on the sofa in the fetal position and cry like a baby
- Redecorate the living room but fail badly as you can't tweet for recommendations on a new colour scheme
- Consider your navel. Spend a few hours thinking and solving the world's problems and when twitter is back you can share your vision.
- Turn on the television and sit transfixed to the shopping channel, you will be amazed at the goods that arrive in the next few days and weeks that you can't believe you would ever have considered useful.
- Call random friends on the telephone. You know that black box that you use to tweet, listen to music, take photographs, browse the web and answer emails also knows how to connect you to friends so that you can actually speak to them in sentences longer than 140 characters.
- Engage in a conversation with a "cold caller". Ask them about the weather, what they had for lunch, when they last had a hair cut or if you are really brave the colour of their eyes. They will be so shocked at someone who doesn't immediately hang up the telephone and takes them away from their prepared script.
- Organise your bookshelf alphabetically. That can take up a lot of time especially the decision of whether to file books beginning with "The" under "T" or not.
- Get up out of your chair, walk through the dor to the real world and go for a walk or if you are feeling really energetic get out the roller blades that you bought whilst watching the shopping channel when Skype was offline for a few hours last year. You know you want to, it will be so easy and such good fun, at least that's what you thought when you saw the advert.
- Open a random book fro your newly alphabetized bookshelf and read something that doesn't truncate words or force you to translate textspeak abbreviations. There won't even be any emoticons or mystery links to click on.
- Consider if there really is a god and will she listen if you pray for Twitter to come back online right now.